


Wham Bam Christian Man!

by orphan_account



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 17:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11559570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Fat Tony kidnaps a girl after she criticizes his wine tastes, he dumps her on a street, leading her to the front doorstep of the bible fanatic Ned Flanders. Over months of taking care of her, Ned begins to fall for her, but pushes her away after the death of his previous two wives ; Maude and Edna, in fear that she too will follow their fates. Unbeknownst to him, his feelings are returned by his house guest





	Wham Bam Christian Man!

It was in the midst of a cold, harsh night. Fat Tony decided it to be the best night to dump one of his  _ guests _ . This time, a woman. She had gone to one of Fat Tony’s restaurants a few weeks back and had the  _ audacity _ to complain about the wine. Of course she had to be taken out. He had Louie take her out back amongst the dumpsters, and with one quick blow to the head, she was out on the cold hard pavement with a nice gun butt shaped dent in her skull. For 26 days, the Springfield mafia had kept her locked up in the trunk of one of their Ford Camaros, feeding her, but with a bag over her head of course and had one of the doctors clean up her head. They couldn’t have such a beautiful, amazing car like that to be bloodied and dirtied by a no good broad who thought she was better than them. No way in hell!    
  
So here we are now,  stumbling around on the street, no idea of who you are or who’s car you just got thrown out of. Your head ached and there was a horrible taste in your dry mouth. Anybody who would have seen you would have assumed you were the Crazy Cat Lady’s mute daughter or some sort of relation. Your hair was a mess, the makeup you wore on the night of the restaurant trip was smudged and caked around your eyes and mouth and your clothes were creased and torn from the impact of the tarmac as your body was thrown from the car.    
  
A street sign caught your eye.    
  
Evergreen Terrace.    



End file.
